1959

New Year's Eve! For the beautiful people reading this--thank you. I wish you a healthy, happy 2013...full of exciting adventures.

I'm about to tell you a story, but I better give you a little background info. I wrote yesterday on the difficulty of keeping in touch with best friends. I recited some advice I received regarding friendship-- that  high school pals eventually lose contact. Well, my grandmother and her two best friends have kept their tight knit friendship for 58 solid years.

 My grandmother's name is Wilma. She met Sandy in the 7th grade. Upon entering high school, they met Dianne, and the rest is history. As best friends, special moments were experienced together. Marriage, children, raising children, watching their little ones' grow and have families of their own, becoming grandmothers, retiring, all while maintaining the special bond formed years prior. 58 years later, that bond is stronger than ever. What's their trick?

Every New Year's Eve since 1959, the three best friends come together to ring in the New Year. It began 53 years ago with Wilma, Sandy, Dianne, and their husbands. As families expanded, the crowd grew. But the spirit of the night never diminished. This tradition started in 1959 and remains in place today. As I write, my grandmother and Sandy are reminiscing about old times and memories, having a jolly time. What a joy for me, to hear the old stories and see how far they've come-- together.

They've taken a group photo on each New Year's Eve since 1959. So, I present to you the 53 photo.

Happy 2013!!

Expectations Suck

I'm young. I'm a fresh high school grad, recently finished my first semester at UIndy, and figuring out this crazy life of mine. But there's a lesson I've learned during my new found independence.

A few days before graduation day, a seasoned adult revealed their opinion of my future friendships. 

"The people you call friends right now, at this moment, will not be your friends 20 years from now... [insert additional life facts]....it's the friends you make in college that will be lifelong. They're the one's who will be in your wedding."

While these words of wisdom remain true for some, I swore this wouldn't be my fate. See, during my years in high school, I tried to stay off the radar. "Belonging" to a group never sounded appealing to me. This resilience led me to make many different types of friends. I built strong relationships, formed solid bonds, and became extremely close to eight special people. Eight people who mean the world to me. 

When the scary potential hit me, that we may lose contact  (as most high school pals do) a certain sadness overwhelmed me. It was then I vowed that this wouldn't be our fate. 

One semester of college later the harsh reality sunk in-- staying in contact isn't easy. No, it's far from easy. It takes work and time and balance. Eight inseparable people, each going in different directions, each with totally different life plans. How can we make this work? 

We said that we'd visit. We said that we'd call. We said that we'd make a true effort. We said it. We promised it. We pinky swore. Truth is-- we seldom called, we didn't visit, but we kept our good intentions. 

This thing called life took over, full swing. Time became scarce as academic obligations piled, and keeping in touch proved to be a challenge. 

The eight of us were changing, growing, and living our own hectic lives. The real world doesn't allow for unconditional amounts of time dedicated to friendship. But even though time is unforgiving, my best memories  happened because of these people. Life moments happened in their presence, healing moments. And no matter where our lives take us, we will be there for each other, forever. 

I had an Ugly Christmas Sweater party while on Christmas Break. I invited eight special people. They came. They shared their college stories, wore their ugliest of ugly sweaters, and in that moment time froze. It was as if we'd never left each other. It was exactly like old times. We sat in a room full of laughter, full of love, full of friendship. 

The lesson that I learned through this life experience-- strong bonds can never be broken, no matter how many miles stand between you and that person whom you call your best friend. Neglect can be a nasty thing. But it's never too late. It's never too late to call an old pal, simply to ask how they're doing. It's never too late to plan lunch with that person you grew up with and a part from. 

In this great life, there are great people. People we call friends. People that will lead a life miles away, but will always hold a place close to the heart. 

Friendship is a crazy thing. It's kind of like a candle. Even when the wick has been blown out, and the flame has died, grab a lighter (or a match) and re-light that wick. It'll burn, just like it did before. 

Measuring Beauty

There's this thing... and most women are guilty of it-- it's called body bashing. Maybe this is familiar? Starting with one judging look in the mirror, the cycle of hating our reflection becomes a daily occurrence. I mean, we live in a society where being fat is basically a crime. Actually, being average size is looked down upon. And with media's unforgiving scrutiny of the seemingly perfect celebs, there's an indirect message being sent. Self-worth is measured by appearance. 

Well, this is bull hockey! We are more than the size of our pants. We are more than the color of our hair. These superficial factors will not define us.

Self-acceptance is a struggle I'm very familiar with. I never felt good enough. However, I did feel a certain pressure-- to be perfect...to be thin. The simple fact--all I needed to do was LOVE MYSELF. I have cellulite....so what! Half the population has it. My stomach isn't perfectly flat...who cares?! My plump belly doesn't mean I should be insecure. 

I deserve to live life free of fear. Free of self-hatred. Free of self-judgement. There's something in my head... it's like a detector of imperfection and every time I look in the mirror it goes off.

 *Looks in mirror* Beep, beep, beep... fix hair, make sure nothing is in teeth, eye liner smeared-wipe off, are those wrinkles? geesh, my cheeks are red. I seriously wore this outfit? 

The judgement never ends. The fixing never stops. Why? Because being imperfect is inevitable. And what I've finally realized after years of self-hatred... being imperfect is beautiful. It's what makes us human. It's what makes us special. 

I realized that I'm missing out on this great life. I'm missing out because I'm, what?!, worried about the way others will perceive me? How about how I perceive myself? Doesn't that matter?

We are women. We are human beings, flawed and all. And that's okay. We are beautiful. We are smart. We are determined. We CAN end this treacherous cycle. Don't waste another minute feeling insignificant. Stop hating. Stop judging. In my eyes, you are a miracle. In my eyes, you are absolutely amazing. In this great life, you make a difference. 

Commitment Issues?

See, I have this problem. I struggle with following through. There are so many great things that I want to do in this life of mine. Why is it that I can't commit to them? Starting around middle school I've been inspired to make these "bucket lists". I'm really awesome at coming up with goals to complete. But, I'm a little lax in the checking off department. I'll give you an example. To the left you'll find the item on my list, and following is the reason why I haven't been check-marking at the high speed I initially intended. 

• Lose weight & feel great!: well, the "healthy plan" lasts maybe a month, and then I'm back fueling my deprived body with nourishment of the sweet and fried sorts. 
• Workout: I have good intentions, really. I do workout the recommended 30 minutes per day. Too bad I eat the calories I burn 25 seconds after sweating my butt off. 
• Travel the world: Why must planes be so scary?
• Have a real life fairy tale: Call me crazy, but I believe in true love. I believe it's a possibility for me. But I have this problem, where I struggle with opening up to people. 

This is just one example of my many "bucket lists". What I've realized, though, is happiness can't be measured by lists. True fulfillment comes with living in the moment and embracing the unknown. That's why this method just doesn't work for me. When it's all written down--all of these things that I want to do turn in to things I feel like I have to do. But before I totally recycled all of these lists, I wanted to work on one goal that I found on each list. COMMIT. 

The answer to my goal setting dilemma? Hmm.. start a blog. Commit to this one thing for one year. A blog documenting my real life happenings-- like I've always wanted to... just been too afraid to start. 'Till now.