As a child, if someone were to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have answered, "a princess, like Cinderella."
The movies told me that if I'm in distress, a man will magically come into my life and solve all of my problems. But somewhere along the way, life reminded me that Cinderella was just a movie, and I was just an ordinary girl.
As I grew older, I stopped watching animated fairy tales, like Cinderella, and instead began watching romantic comedies...Lifetime...Hallmark....Nicholas Spark's inspired films...you get the point. And my dream of being Cinderella turned into a hope of finding my other half. No matter what, I vowed to always believe in true love.
When I entered high school, I thought I would finally be worthy of my movie moment. I silently walked the halls, hoping for that perfect guy to find me.
But my moment never happened...he never showed up. I was surrounded by friends who would tell me about the romantic date they had, or this guy who likes them, or the awesome way they were asked to prom. I was so happy for them, don't get me wrong. But part of me always wondered, and sometimes still wonders, why I never deserved that experience.
It was a Friday night and I was at home. I was in my bedroom, jamming to my Taylor Swift CD, and I remember hoping that my prince charming would knock on the front door and profess his love to me. I imagined him asking me out on a date...in some cute way. As juvenile as that sounds, part of me still wishes that would have happened to me. Because... there was never a knock. There was never a date. Not even to the prom. And eventually, I stopped believing.
Sometimes I wonder, though, if things would've been different--would I even be writing to you write now? The pain of my past is why I write. The rejection. The heart break. The hurt. It's taught me that you have to be your own hero. Fairy tales do exist. But sometimes, it doesn't have to involve a prince coming to the rescue of a princess.
Sometimes, it can be a girl who retired her dependence on finding prince charming and instead found independence, when she fearlessly moved away from home to a big city and made a life on her own. A girl, who once stopped believing in herself, eventually realizing her true strength. A girl, once scared of sharing her thoughts, now exposing her vulnerability. A girl who is writing to the world right..now.
So, maybe I did get my fairy tale after all. It may not have been a story book ending. It may not have been a movie moment. But it's mine. My story. My ending. My moment.
No, I'm not waiting for a prince anymore. I'm just proving that it's possible to do it alone.
