Making the first move

You like him...so now what? Making the first move is hard. I've always been one to expect the guy to initiate conversation and show interest first. But, I've come to realize that doesn't always happen. Maybe he's shy. Maybe you are, too. But if you are attracted to him... I say- go for it! 

Rejection is a scary thing. Trust me, I've had my fair share of "no's". Usually I find out the cutie I've got my eye on has a "girlfriend". (Sigh...) And I'm kind of being a hypocrite here-- because I find it terrifying to make the first move, when it comes to guys. 

I mean, I'm still an old-fashioned girl at heart. The ideal situation would be him, asking me out first. But guys these days can be a tad wimpy. (no offense guys) And I totally get it. Heck, putting yourself out there is no small feat. But I think I'm tired of the waiting game. 

So, this week I vow to take my own advice. There's this guy in one of my classes. And to be honest, he seems like a total sweet heart. Not to mention he's completely adorable. (Best smile award!)

Hey- if all else fails, I can accept a simple friendship. See, this great life is full of opportunities. And you can sit back and wait for them to come to you-- OR you can fearlessly accept them-- like a boss. 

Here's to making the first move! 

And hey-- if it doesn't work out with "said guy"...it's totally possible he's related to Gerard Butler. And in that case, rejection would be SO WORTH IT! Can you say dream come true?

Hooray for V-day...or not?

That time of year again. I'm sure you're expecting me to ramble on about why I'm not "in love" with Valentine's Day. But I'll spare you the agony of complaining. 

Instead, I'm going to just give you the facts-- 

STRAIGHT UP FACT OF THE MATTER

• I'm single
• I look forward to my annual teddy bear and chocolates from my mom
• Yes, I consider this a "free day". (By that I mean a hot date with Ben & Jerry and my all-time favorite, sappy romantic comedies.) 
• Happy couples give me hope
• Reminder that if love doesn't work this year, there's always next
• When the date doesn't go as planned (or just sucks), it makes for a funny story to tell your friends
• The youngin's are passing out there little addressed V-day cards to their classmates right now. (heart warming)... and admit it-- you miss that. 
• The single and lonely finally voice their unhappiness. Hence, blaming V-day for the annual reminder that true love hasn't found them yet. 
• Movie worthy moments happen on this day. 
• Corporations get richer $$
• Butterfly feelings, galore!

This day is kind of a toss up for me. My relationship with Valentine's Day? Love/hate. That's how I would describe it.

For my single readers': Don't be bitter. You're still beautiful...and AWESOME. One day, you'll find your someone. (If you want one). On the bright side, less than 24 hours until it's over! Hug your family. 

For my happily- coupled readers': You're so cute! Congratulations on finding what us single folks desire-- the "right" one. Don't get too blind sided by the flowers and the candy... don't compare teddy bear sizes with your friends...just enjoy the love you are lucky enough to have. 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

You're a Firework!

Monkey Bars and Cotton Balls

I met my best friend, Megan, at the monkey bars. It was Elementary school, second grade, and a funny story. 

See, I was a pretty chunky youngin'.  And I wanted to glide across those monkey bars- so bad. Everyday at recess, I'd be at the monkey bars, holding onto that first bar...trying to make it to the second one. (didn't usually happen)

I practiced, everyday. So much so that blisters formed on my small hands. But I kept on trying. Day after day. 

One day, Megan was at the monkey bars, too. I'd never met her before. And this is how we became best friends:

Me: "I'm not really fat...these are just cotton balls under my shirt" *points to belly*
Megan: "Really?"
Me: "No, I'm actually just fat."
Megan: "Oh, okay."
Me: "Want to be my friend?"
Megan: "Yeah."

And the rest is history. Twelve years later, we've maintained that friendship. Megan is that one friend that I can say-- I've been through EVERYTHING with. Our friendship has survived petty arguments. It's survived a big move. It's survived long distance and piled high obligations. 

We've lost a few family members along the way. People that meant the world to us. But through those hard times, we had each other. We've always been there for each other. 

Not many people can say that they've remained in contact with their childhood friends. Well, we can. And we've not only maintained contact... we are still- to this day- best friends. She's seriously a sister to me. Her family is my family. My family is her family. That's how it's always been.

I came to college, and then our friendship became even longer-distance. 
I was having a rough day, and I went to check my mail box. I got a package. 
It was from Megan. It was filled with cute little items, and a sticky note attached to each one.

This is the items and what they said:  

A back scratcher: "I will always have your back" 
A dust pan: "sweep away all of your worries"
Cookies: "just enjoy"
Gum: "fresh breath will help you make friends...(haha) or a good first kiss"
Lint roller: "Don't sweat the small stuff. Just let it roll off your shoulders"
Bowl: "Just in case you need to eat your feelings" 
Gold Fish: "Live your life out loud. Go crazy. Don't settle for less. There are plenty of fish in the sea." 
Totally awesome box: "think outside the box"
Vera Bradley change purse (adorable!): "The new Vera Bradley opened in the outlet. My mom picked this up for you."

As you can imagine, I was in tears. Because she's the best. And she knows me like the back of her hand. That package meant so much to me. Megan means so much to me. 

She's got some big dreams. And I know that she will effortlessly accomplish them. She's brilliant. An honors student at her college. A full time student and employee. A wonderful aunt, daughter, granddaughter, and all-around person.

Since the beginning, we've stuck together. Tag on the playground, Camp Crosely, 5th grade basketball...she even accepted me when I was a bed-wetter. I wet the bed until like 6th grade. And Megan didn't even care that I was that total weirdo, wearing a pull-up at age 11. We are true pals. 

This great life introduces us to some great people. Keep in contact with them. They're totally worth it. I hope that one day, or maybe right now-- you're lucky enough to have a Megan in your life. 

BEST

FRIENDS

FOREVER

Jordayn and Jenn

I always have a plan. So, of course, before I actually arrived at college- I had a plan. But when I received two Facebook messages, from two strangers, telling me that we would be roommates....my plan went out the window. 

I said that I didn't want to be friends with whoever I'd be rooming with. I said that I would make an effort to get along and be cordial, but I did not want to mix friendship with living corridors. 

Then, I find out I'm not just rooming with one girl- I'm rooming with two. Three people. One college dorm room. Yeah, not an ideal situation. 

We did the usual-- texting back and forth the whole summer. Sharing items we would bring to the room. Giving short bio's of the generic stuff. I'm Kelsie. I like to run. blah, blah, blah... you get it. 

Then, move in day arrived. And the three strangers finally met. 

After I finished unpacking and organizing, my family left. And I felt so lost. I felt so empty. My whole entire world as I knew it- over. And I'm alone. With no support. No one who knows me...no one who understands me. In a room with two strangers-- at college, on my own for the first time ever. 

Home-sick doesn't even begin to describe how it feels to be uprooted from everything you've ever known and thrown into a brand new environment, with people you don't recognize. 

Many awkward welcoming activities later, and after a little bit of time spent bonding with my roommates....it got better. And as the days passed by, I became more and more comfortable in this strange place. I even started calling it home. I made friends. I liked my classes. And everything was going well. 

Everyday we got a little farther into the semester. And everyday Jordayn, Jenn, and I grew closer and closer.  

See, that original plan-- didn't work out. Because little did I know, these girls would not only be my friends- they would be my family. They are my sisters. They are my support system. They are my happy days and my deepest laughs. 

I wake up to inspiring sticky notes on my desk, telling me how wonderful I am. After I get done blushing, I realize how truly, unconditionally blessed I am in my life. 

These girls are my sisters. And I will protect them. And I will support them. And I will believe in them. I will be their biggest fans. And I will love them, until the day that I die. 

Jordayn, Jenn-- my best friends. I honestly can't picture my life without them in it. 

If I hadn't chosen to go to the University of Indianapolis, I would've never met them. And you might say- that you can't miss someone that you've never met. But I know...if I chose another college, I would feel like something in my heart was missing. I may not know who or what...but something would be off. 

Because God wanted me to meet these two girls. To show me what it's like to have sisters. To help me make unforgettable memories. To have dance parties and roommate bonding dates. To talk about boys and give advice. To smile until our cheeks hurt and laugh until we cry. To be so extremely comfortable with one another that we even fart with pride. 

Jordayn and Jenn-- if you're reading this. I love you. I'm the luckiest girl alive. Thank you for supporting my blog. Going as far as tweeting the link. You both mean the world to me. In this great life--in my life, you are sunshine. You are beautiful. You are my family. 

Strangers.

Sisters.

Yahoo, Hope, and Happiness

In an attempt to promote my blog, I visited Yahoo answers. I tried to find people in need of some positivity. I wanted my blog to help them-- so I provided brief advice and then attached the link to This Great Life. 

The past few days I've been answering questions like a maniac, trying to give advice I'm certainly not qualified to give. But as I scrolled through the never ending list of people begging for guidance, the desperation of these strangers struck a chord with me. 

Most of them were completely lost. Some struggled with self-esteem issues. Some wanted to know if so and so liked them back. Or if they should ask so and so on a date. Some were in love with complete strangers and wanted to know if that was weird. 

So, this post is for them.

_______________________________________________________________________

To the girl who doesn't believe in herself,  you're going to be okay. Don't ever give up hope that things will get better. Because they will. You're amazing, and you're capable of so much more than you realize. Don't cheat this world out of your great ideas.Share them. Make them come alive. And never stop believing in the beauty of life--in the beauty of you. 

To the girl who has never had a boyfriend and feels alone in that decision-- because all of her friends have one right now, you're making the right choice. For now, focus on the change you wish to be in the world- and make it happen. Focus on strengthening the relationship with your family. Focus on spending endless amounts of time with your best of friends. Take on new experiences with a smile, and pat yourself on the back for being so strong. You're admirable. You're remarkable. And when it's your time for that someone special-- you will feel it in your heart. 

To the guy who is in love with his best friend, think about the options. Option 1: Tell her how you truly feel--even if it means sacrificing a special friendship.... Yes, it's risky. She might not even feel the same way. But at least you tried. At least you can say that you fought for the love in your heart and gave it your all. Option 2:  Be content with just being "friends", in order to always keep her in your life-- even if it means giving up the possibility of ever being anything more. This way no one gets hurt, right? Well, that's tough. I chose option 2...but then I found out the hard way that it wasn't for me. Because I always was always going to want more. And I couldn't handle that. Bottom line-- it's up to you. And which ever decision you make, make it because it's the right one for you.

To the guy who can't seem to find any "nice" girls out there, you just haven't met the right one yet. Be patient.  There are plenty of nice girls, and one day-- you're going to find her. And you're going to be so happy that you never settled for less than you deserve. I'm sure that you're an awesome guy. Remember that this is a big  world, filled with TONS of people! And don't forget--college, work place, random coffee shop--totally romantic places to meet potential mates. In all seriousness, don't give up hope that she's out there. 

To the girl who's home schooled and  unhappy, life is greater than the walls of your home. One day, you'll be able to explore the world for yourself. Just remember that you're parents hold on tight because they love you. Sometimes they don't understand that you need to spread your wings. But when college comes around-- you'll meet so many new people, make best of friends, be involved in FUN activities, and for once, you will form your own routine. Hang on, and keep your appetite for life. It will get better!

______________________________________________________________________

To my wonderful readers-- thank you for sticking with me. You guys are wonderful. I hope you know that I genuinely, truly believe in you. Just like you've believed in me.

This great life presents some challenges. And sometimes we don't know who to turn to or where to turn. But know that whenever you're feeling a little lost-- you'll always find your way back...always. 

For a friend.

Weakness reveals vulnerability.Vulnerability means admitting that you're not healed. And after trying really hard to move on, and after you've finally realized you deserve better, and after everything seems to be going right....you have a brief moment of reflection. Reflecting back on memories. Remembering the beginning, how it used to be. Remembering how it's broken now. Remembering the hurt and anguish you went through to become a stronger version of yourself. And wishing that the brief moment of reflection never crossed your mind. Then, you become stuck. Because all you want to do is forget. And all you can do is remember. And you're so mad. Because you've come so far. How can you be weak right now? You're better than this, right? 

This unfortunate cycle is something I used to be very familiar with. And I'd be lying if I said I don't still experience it once in awhile. Because the truth is, yes, sometimes I have those weak moments. But instead of being angry that they happen, despite my repression, I now understand why they occur.

See, wounds will heal, but they still ache from time to time. And allowing yourself to feel that pain doesn't mean you're not healed.In fact, it means that you've come far in the healing process. 

I mean, think about it. That heartbreak. Who was it? My guess-- someone you trusted. Someone you shared your life with. Someone who got you. Someone who made you feel like you were on top of the world. 

And then, it got lost along the way-- that love. It broke. It disappeared. And you were left to put the pieces back together, all by yourself. 

That's hard. But you did it. You put the pieces together. And the open wound is now closed. But it's still fragile. And when a memory strikes that wound-- it will ache. And when the realization that things will never be the same agitates that wound-- it will ache. And when missing him hits that wound deep-- it will ache. But it's totally normal. Eventually, the blows will soften. 

But for now, allow yourself to feel. And don't be mad when you have that moment. Just let it happen. 

I believe that everything happens for a reason. I also believe that I was supposed to fall for someone. And I was supposed to get hurt. And I was supposed to work through the pain, then move on. So I could share my experience with you. So I could tell you that it will get better. So I could expose my wound. And tell you that it still aches, and you're not alone. 

This great life is full of helpers. Helpers who have experienced tragedy, loss, and even heart break. And one day, you'll be on the other side. Helping someone else get through a situation that hits close to home.