For a friend.

Weakness reveals vulnerability.Vulnerability means admitting that you're not healed. And after trying really hard to move on, and after you've finally realized you deserve better, and after everything seems to be going right....you have a brief moment of reflection. Reflecting back on memories. Remembering the beginning, how it used to be. Remembering how it's broken now. Remembering the hurt and anguish you went through to become a stronger version of yourself. And wishing that the brief moment of reflection never crossed your mind. Then, you become stuck. Because all you want to do is forget. And all you can do is remember. And you're so mad. Because you've come so far. How can you be weak right now? You're better than this, right? 

This unfortunate cycle is something I used to be very familiar with. And I'd be lying if I said I don't still experience it once in awhile. Because the truth is, yes, sometimes I have those weak moments. But instead of being angry that they happen, despite my repression, I now understand why they occur.

See, wounds will heal, but they still ache from time to time. And allowing yourself to feel that pain doesn't mean you're not healed.In fact, it means that you've come far in the healing process. 

I mean, think about it. That heartbreak. Who was it? My guess-- someone you trusted. Someone you shared your life with. Someone who got you. Someone who made you feel like you were on top of the world. 

And then, it got lost along the way-- that love. It broke. It disappeared. And you were left to put the pieces back together, all by yourself. 

That's hard. But you did it. You put the pieces together. And the open wound is now closed. But it's still fragile. And when a memory strikes that wound-- it will ache. And when the realization that things will never be the same agitates that wound-- it will ache. And when missing him hits that wound deep-- it will ache. But it's totally normal. Eventually, the blows will soften. 

But for now, allow yourself to feel. And don't be mad when you have that moment. Just let it happen. 

I believe that everything happens for a reason. I also believe that I was supposed to fall for someone. And I was supposed to get hurt. And I was supposed to work through the pain, then move on. So I could share my experience with you. So I could tell you that it will get better. So I could expose my wound. And tell you that it still aches, and you're not alone. 

This great life is full of helpers. Helpers who have experienced tragedy, loss, and even heart break. And one day, you'll be on the other side. Helping someone else get through a situation that hits close to home.