I've got three essays, online homework, studying to do, and note cards to make. But for some reason- time stopped me today. It's like-- it all hit me. Life. Progression. Happy times. Memories. Reflection. It all came at once.
See, I spent my entire high school career waiting for the day it would be over. I wanted to graduate already. I wanted to be an adult. I wanted to be taken seriously and take care of myself. Most importantly, I wanted to go to college, move away, and never look back.
Then, I got to college. And all I wanted to do was survive my freshman year and succeed, to prove I could handle it. Now, I'm in my sophomore year and tirelessly working to complete my psychology degree, so I can "get to grad school already". See a pattern, yet? I do.
The problem is-- I've been spending my whole life living for the future. Accomplishing one thing in order to progress to another. What happens when I've finally climbed to the top of the ladder? What happens when the goal setting and completing is over? When does wishing right now away, just to get to next week... stop? Does any of it even matter, if I have abandoned the "living" part of life?
Recent events have really opened my eyes. I can't be so goal oriented...so academically driven...so ambitious....that I forget to enjoy the journey that brings me to the destination.
It's sad that death has to teach us about life. And how much it matters. And how short it truly is. But the only thing that matters-- is that we finally learn. I finally did.
Currently, my chihuahua is dancing in circles-- trying to get my attention. The note cards can wait...I'm going to dance with my dog.
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