da solo

Da solo, in Italian, means alone. That's what I've been for 19 years. 19 years without dating.

Instead, I've surrounded myself with the people that mean the most to me. I'm welcomed with love by my awesome family. I'm accepted and embraced by my best of friends. I'm whole. I'm complete without anyone in the picture. It's how I've always been. Some call it independent--- I like to think of it as inner peace.

See, it's too easy to feel like you need someone else in your life to feel complete. To make you who you are. It's just not true. In order to love with your whole heart, you must first love every inch of yourself. Being alone is perfectly okay. There's nothing wrong with it. Because when it's your time for love, you'll know. When it's time to open your heart and share that inner peace with that special someone-- you will.

When I tell people I've never been in a relationship, I see the silent gasp in their eyes. They often offer immediate pity--"you poor thing...we need to find you a man!"

What they don't know is-- a man isn't going to fix me or my problems. He isn't going to know me, unless I know myself first. He can't give me compliments, until I'm willing to believe them. He can't make me feel whole-- I have to do that on my own first.

I don't want to be that person who needs to have a boyfriend, because they're afraid of being alone. I want to be that person who is comfortable being alone but wants to have a boyfriend, because they're ready to share their life.

The most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself. Do you even know who you are? I mean, do you REALLY know who you are? If you're not content with living in your own skin-- without someone there to give you attention....that may be a tough question to answer. But you have to know. And once you know-- explore what you are capable of ALONE. You'll be surprised how strong you really are.

The best part-- you will never EVER rely solely on a man to make you feel happy or important. Because you know that you already are- without anyone else influencing your feelings.

I'm not saying that having a boyfriend is wrong. I'm just saying, timing is everything. Eventually, I want to share my experiences with someone, too. But for now, I'm enjoying this time in my life. I'm too young to be committed. Right now is the time that I'm taking on challenges that are way too big for me... with a smile.. because I know I can prove to MYSELF that I CAN do it. I'm taking risks and going far far out of my "comfort zone". This is my path. For me, it works... and I know one day I'll be ready. But until then, I'll leave you with a story.

I once read some advice from a beautiful, wonderful woman. She's kind of taken the role of my "mentor", without even knowing it. Saoud says that "good things come to those who wait." And she's my inspiration. After waiting for a long while, shes finally living her real life fairy tale. She found her one true love. She found what she's always deserved. It just took a little patience. And it took courage, deciding not to settle- until the right one swept her off her feet. This gives me hope.

This great life is full of people like me, maybe even people like you...people who are waiting for the right moment, the right one, the right man.... and knowing that makes me feel less da solo.