Hey, Tom!

You get invited to dinner. It's supposed to be a girls night. Only all of your girls have boys. By boys, I mean boyfriends. So, it turns into.. "Hey-- I'd love to see you, would you mind being the third wheel?"

Of course, it's never bluntly said like this. Sometimes it's even a surprise. "Oh, hey! Thought it was just you and I... uhh, hey Tom?" *look at friend with 'oh no you didn't' face*

One way or another, you find yourself at this dinner. And everyone is coupled up. And laughing. And happy. And you're completely thrilled that they've found that special someone...but this whole night just turned into a reminder of how single and alone you really are..and it's quite devastating, right?

Dinner is over, and after some great conversation (and a little self-reflection), you hug your besties goodnight. Say bye to the boyfriends with a wave. And drive yourself home. While they all hold hands, basically skipping to the car. 

Then, when the happily ever after part of your friends' relationships isn't so happy anymore...they call YOU. The single one. And you give them the best advice you can. Advice from your heart. They start to feel a bit better, and the next week they and "the guy" have smoothed things over. Phew. 

Then the dinner invites turn into a wedding invite. And the wedding invite turns into throwing a baby shower. And the baby shower turns into less dinner dates. And less dinner dates turns into minimal time with the girls who were once a huge part of your daily life. But now they've got their own. They're starting a family. And you're still alone. Single. And caught in the treacherous cycle of watching the happily ever after's without being a part of one. 

This...my dear, dear friends...is the type of situation that leads to settling for less than you're worth. It's kind of like, time is running out! I may not find someone else who loves me! Better snatch up this mediocre guy, who doesn't really make me especially happy! Because I'm behind in the process. 

Bad news-- settling is not the recipe to life. Good news-- you can make your own ingredients. 

I feel as if most people are afraid of ending up alone. SO, they will fill their lives with temporary loves, waiting for the "true" one. Dragging their boyfriends to romantic comedies, insinuating the love story they wish they had lived. Hoping they will pick up on the obvious cues. Waiting for them to change. Tolerating being treated like complete shit, because at least they have someone to keep the bed warm at night. This is not the American Dream. This is emptiness. 

People call me crazy. Even tell me to lower my standards. "You don't have a boyfriend?" *gasp* "WHY?" (then, I get the 'what's wrong with you' look..as if there must be something literally wrong with me) 

I then go onto explain how I'm simply waiting for the right guy. The guy who is full of imperfections, but despite everything, he's perfect for me. I tell them that I believe in fairy tales and true love. That I think the idea is almost extinct because people don't have enough patients to let it happen when it's supposed to. I say that if it never happens I will still be okay. Because at least I never gave up hope. 

They look at me like I'm naive. "This doesn't happen in real life." I get that a lot. But I just smile. Because I know it will happen to me. I just believe in love with my whole heart. And I know that I deserve the special kind of love. I know that I am the exception, not the rule-- no matter how many times people tell me otherwise. 

And I am telling you this, because I want you to believe it, too. Believe that you're worth more than mediocre. Believe that while your friends seem happy, they're not...because they're not with the right one. And they're wasting so much time with the temporary boyfriend-- that they're missing out on experiencing life for themselves. Exploring it on their own.

And when the time is right....some spectacular guy will enter your life. And he will make you realize why you never settled. And he will have been worth the wait.

Gay, straight, purple, or blue, believe me when I say YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. There's NOTHING WRONG with you. I LOVE you, with every part of my soul. And I will believe in your fairy tale..I will pray for it...even when you have lost faith. 

In a room full of couples, let's be the example. Hey-- let's be single together.